When she sits down in a restaurant, she immediately begins polishing the silverware with her napkin — while talking in such a way as to keep you from noticing what her hands are doing.

He always says “how-yaw-doon” instead of “good morning.”

He’s really good at inviting people to “come over sometime,” but he never issues an invitation for a specific day and time.

She leaves for work at precisely 7:32 every morning.

In winter, you can see him plodding through suburbia in a hooded sweatshirt and flip-flops.

She greets each person with a kiss on each cheek. She’s especially exuberant around those who feel uncomfortable with the kisses.

When talk turns to religion, he begins picking his cuticles.

She thinks she’s leaving herself five extra minutes, but she always arrives fifteen minutes late to every social gathering. She is never late to doctor’s appointments.

She is open-minded, strong-willed, and independent. She also believes that women have no business being sports announcers.

He makes it a point to bring a gift if he doesn’t know his host well.

On the back of her head, hidden beneath her hair, is a tattoo that reads memento mori.

The less comfortable he is, the more he talks about himself.

On weeknights, she watches the news and then plays the piano for half an hour before going to bed.

At two in the morning, they go outside and practice boxing in the breezeway of the apartment complex.

He enjoys saying hello to her in passing, but the idea of inviting her over makes his palms sweat.

She looks at anyone more than ten years her junior as though they were displaced tropical birds.

He tinkers on his car even though it needs no work.

If she offers you a doughnut in the morning, and you take it, she will come to you later in the day and ask to borrow something.

The first few sips of a soft drink give him the hiccups.

She is one of those rare people who like both Star Wars and Star Trek.

He chuckles to himself when, during the course of a party, not a single person picks up one of his coffee table books.

She trashes her bedroom on a daily basis — but all of her CDs, DVDs, and books are alphabetized.

Watch them when they don’t know you’re watching.

And that’s WILAWriTWe.

Photo credit Julie V. Photography.